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RAC Repellant

PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR HOSPITAL NOW!

UP TO 3 MIDNIGHTS OF APPEAL RELIEF

Recommended by Denial Management Teams nationwide!

 

BE SURE TO READ DIRECTIONS & DISCLAIMER!

(Full Disclosure:  This is actually air freshener... LOL... but still very fun...)

HOW TO USE:

Shake well before each use. Hold can upright; press button and spray in side to side sweeping motion across stacks of medical records, per recent Additional Documentation Requests. Avoid all records for claims submitted to commercial / private payers, as results are unpredictable, since research involving alien species is ongoing.

CAUTION:

Do not use near fire, flame, pilot light, internal auditors, coders, or case managers. Do not set on stove or radiator or any computer termnals used to generate UB-04 or Forms 1500. 

KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN, PETS, INTERNAL AUDITORS, CASE MANAGERS, CLINICAL DOCUMENTATION IMPROVEMENT SPECIALISTS, AND GENERALLY ANYONE INVOLVED IN YOUR REVENUE CYCLE, OR REVENUE INTEGRITY PROCESSES.

WARNING:

Use only as directed. Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents can be harmful or fatal. No, seriously! Help stop inhalation abuse. For more information visit    www.inhalant.org.

INGREDIENTS:   

Fragrance, Solubilizers, Emulsifier, Stabilizer, Corrosion Inhibitor, Propellants, Thoughts and Prayers for you but not for the Medicare Advantage Plan auditors, an experimental nerve agent to cause an auditor to forget the meaning of "medical necessity" - assuming they ever knew it anyway, and finally another experimental nerve agent intended to enable automatic approval of Inpatient status for claims using CPT©    codes 27447, 43282, 43772, 43773, 43774, 55866.

NOTE:   

The Current Procedural Terminology (CPT ©) code set is a trademark of the American Medical Association. And if they don't like my use of it here, they can bite me. 

DISCLAIMER:

This product is intended for the exclusive use of the individual purchasers and may wind up being used on information that is confidential, privileged and likely unsuitable for overly sensitive or even average persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended purchaser/user, please put this product down and step back at least 10 feet. Any dissemination, distribution or copying of this product is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.

No animals were harmed in the production or testing of this product, although the Yorkshire Terrier next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice you may see when you return to your workstation: However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you, your coworkers and your pets.

If you happen to be a Medicare Advantage Plan auditor, do not try this at home, as you are too late. You have obviously received this product in error, so just spray liberally to coat a pyrex dish, place the product carefully in the dish, cover it with some nutmeg and egg whites, then place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.

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